Once In A Blue Moon

I hate being misunderstood. I hate being accused of something that I didn’t do. I hate people making conclusions themselves before knowing the truth.

It is indeed hurtful, for someone who has been ok with you to think that you are ‘the bad girl’ who goes about branding people bastards. The thing is, close friends who know me know that I am someone who abhor usage of foul language, so what would have made me do such a drastic thing? It was just at that spur of moment, a slip of fingers that made me typed that word and sent it to the wrong person due to msn chat window that popped up-and I didn’t even mention his name. It must be the pent-up hurt in my heart that had accumulated thus long that made me do that.

If only she knew the truth that I had been asking people to hide from her, because I do not want a third girl to be hurt again…How could she be pissed at me when I am the victim?

Ah, this thing called love. It really blinds people. When you are in love, your other half is perfect, and whoever who dares to suggest that he/she is imperfect will be your worst enemy. I won’t blame her for that, but I hope time will make us all a better person…

A philosopher once said (should be Antoine sans de-Exupery, the author of ‘The Little Prince’) that love doesn’t consist of just two people gazing at each other, but it is about two people gazing in the same direction.

So true indeed; love is about being there when he/she is happy or sad. Love is about, wanting him/her to be happy so when you are in love, you are a giver-you give your endless care to him/her, though not knowing what the ending will be. Do you all believe that each of us has another ‘other half’ out there that is meant for us? To be there especially when we are down, to offer us comfort and support. I used to watch a movie in which the main actress believes that ‘In the beginning, God created human in pairs. They were separated to everywhere in the world; and the purpose in one’s life is to search for his/her other half.’ How romantic. ^_^

Love and hate is a matter of crossing that fine line. It is irony how two extreme things can be so closely related. They are NOT at the extreme ends in the scale of relationship. Why is it so hard for people to remain friends after break-up, or worse, you two haven’t even started anything and you two can be on harsh terms with each other? It doesn’t help if one side is being the diplomatic one, because the other side must reciprocate. It takes two to tango.

For some people like me, I believe in remaining friends because the world is so small, you both have mutual friends and you risk bumping into each other if you are in the same uni, stay in the same neighbourhood or hang out with the same group of friends. We are trying to break the barrier of awkwardness; and it doesn’t do our mutual friends any good coz they won’t know what to say to each of us. Because we know that even the culprit will have 101 excuses to ‘justify’ his wrongdoings. We acknowledge that you have your say, but that doesn’t mean that we agree with it.

However, I just cannot understand why some people choose avoidance than the hands of friendship. Is it because they are so ’self-sensed’ (word coined by ai nee which means perasan) that they think we are so NOT over them? They do not realise that people like us know our priorities in life, we have dreams to chase, goals to achive. We have many friends out there who are there for us.

All these while, we have been like that in this journey called life, then you come into our lives, we had nice memories, and then we had unpleasant ones, you left, but nothing changes in our lives!! Our friends are still there, our goals and dreams too….Perhaps the difference is the extent of ‘footprints’ (euphemism for ’scars’) that you left in our hearts.Because of the hurtful experience, we will never, ever be the same again…

For optimistic people, we evolve a stronger person. We tend to appreciate all the true friends and potential suitors who genuinely care for us; and not just treating us as a ‘back-up’.

For some people who take more time to get over the nightmare, they wallow into self-blaming. They ask themselves 101 questions, ‘why am I so
SILLY??? WHY WHY WHY???’ They feel like they can never love again like
that…but what they do not realise is, time is a healer. It really
is. Do not look at your windscreen; or worse, turn you head when you
are driving, because you NOT only will miss the nice scenery in front
of you, you risk getting into an accident!! Move on!!

My dear friend out there, I know you are strong ok, I am a shining example of how you can evolve a stronger person ^_^ We are always here for you, though we are separated by continents, valleys and oceans, there are emails, msn, hp. So never hesitate to talk to us if you feel this ‘lemon sherbet’ feeling in your heart like what I had been through; I had been there, done that and SURVIVED!! So I know. I truly know, my friend.

Love is complicated, but what is life without it huh?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 at 8:52 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.